ANAMIKA- A Girl Who Had Lost Her Name

Today even the rain was making fun of me; those words are echoing in my heart like someone is still shooting them at me. Though my umbrella was big enough to keep us dry together but today it seems to let the drops fall on me alone. Those winds were trying to say something to me like they were whispering your name. You, you the meaning of my life has just made my life meaningless. I still remember when for the first time you looked at me and smiled, those were the early days of our college when everyone one is trying to take their chances to get along with someone. When I first saw you during the induction there was something magical at that moment; I can still feel that anxiety, I had while talking to you for the first time. You were in the next section, so it was not possible to sit by your side looking at you smiling, talking making those funny faces, laughing, but I use to go to the canteen at late evenings when and where I can see you daily. I still remember there was not even a single day, in those initial days, when I missed going to the canteen at that time just to see you, even though sometimes you come sometimes you don’t but I kept that routine for looking at you from a distance. That was the first time when I got so crazy for someone, and I am sure you had never even noticed me before that day when I was under the weather but was sitting there to see you. My friend got mad at me because even that state I was not ready to go home, so she went to you and told you the entire scene. I was all set to kill her, but to my surprise, you without even given it a second thought asked me to go to the doctor’s place with you. How can I say no to you? I know I was acting weirdly, but this is what happens, I guess when you have a one-sided crush on someone. There were so many times when I had left important jobs so that I’ll always be available for you, always. I always thought that I am so lucky that the love of my life is with me. But today devil has played its part, and my entire world has just collapsed. I couldn’t bear those words, so I ran from there, like a crazy little girl crying and shouting. Before I could take a single step that loud voice has grabbed my attention, a car driver was honking like a madman as I nearly got touched by his vehicle, and stood dead without any sign of movement, few moment later my friends had come n dragged me to the footpath from middle of the road. Tears were rolling down like a mad monsoon waterfall; everyone was trying to console me. I was blank like an abandoned estate. It was the news of your train’s accident. Since that story has made its way into my ears, I became a crazy little girl, crying your name, trying your cell number, but you didn’t pick and never called me back. A ring on the door has awakened me from my dream. It’s Anant with chocolates in his hands and with a broad smile on his face, Anant, your brother who has been like my little brother too, since you have gone. It’s been 35 years since you had left me; there has not been a single day when I haven’t thought about you for all of my time. Anant has bought those chocolates for Ayaan, love of my life, our son, Ayaan. I don’t even remember how many times I had written these words on paper and flushed them with dropping tears; I still found myself sitting in the canteen looking at you, every day, like dreaming with eyes open. Well, I am Sneha, your Sneha, you may not recognise me now, as you haven’t seen me in last 35 years. Sneha, who never got married to anyone, living with and taking care of your parents. They always talk about how stupid you were and how lucky they are to had you. You always wanted we have a so. Now we have, I have adopted him, and he is proud son of the crazy, idiot, yet the most amazing father, You. It took me years to start living again but I managed, I managed it for you, for your dreams, for our dreams. I know somewhere in those stars you must be looking at me and making that funny face you always makes whenever you look at me.

I may not be able to live with you, but I am living my love for you. Love you forever and ever, your one sided lover, your never happened wife Anamika- A girl who has lost her name.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s